And as we started talking more and often… hmm, I just loved it, I began feeling for her in a more concrete fashion. Had all the reasons to do so, for she was perfect, she’d make my heart quiver just the right way… could I be any luckier than who I was at the moment? No, it’s really not plausible that I would be willing to exchange my place or circumstances for anyone else’s. Life shone on me and I thought she felt the same way, ready to embrace this chance. Yet… there might be some rattling that I knew I could handle. I did.
Well, not that what I saw needed be of much meaning or that she was mine to ache for at that moment. But a guy dreams and expects, and from there jealousy and insecurity creeps in, even though sort of swift, unavoidably wearying. Hopes pricked and then the right touch mends them back. This may well be the rightest way to express the gist of a passion through words.
Saw her that other day holding hands with some guy, who knows…he might be just a friend or something, a sidetrack from which there is return, or so she’d probably call him when asked about. But the event made me question the intensity of her need for me…or if, there was any feeling at all. I did not give up on things, plus, having all as desired isn’t what we must be hoping from anyone… thus I would not be the one to beg that of her. When love roared I fed it, and I had my own set of flaws as well. Also she was there for me after all, deeply, more than any woman before had stayed, she stood endearing.
These are the moments when something clicks inside, it’s ahead or nothing! And when you feel a choice need be made, and you’re already drowning in it and heart’s whole in there, everything else seems meaningful. You stop playing and you just smile at the undeniable desire.
The rash cannot heal. Why would it? By her side, it went skyward far from any trivial crush and I grew resilient, I’m that sort of man who’s proud of the bliss well deserved and the prospects scare off frightenment. Only then I’m there, for good, wholly hers nearly plateauing with an unbendable heart. May she find settlement in the world I know lies within it, and she was up to the task. I dare believe so…
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